"If I print this email, will you scan it and email it for me?"

rneerkat:

with great power comes a great electricity bill

live-as-a-teen:

dogepom:

patickstump:

if you shame girls about their breast size i will push you into traffic

"Who’s flat now?"

whos flat now

eremiel-fallen-angel:

jinxley:

bambigraham:

jinxley:

my little sister officially turned 10 yesterday and because i’m in another state i couldn’t see her so i called instead to sing happy birthday and when i was done she whispered “gay” and hung up on me

is that the same sister who put her burned hand on your heart because ‘it was so nice and cold’

that would be the sister

your sister sounds pleasant 

instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond instagram @iamtonyhammond

unclefather:

how to kiss a boy

  1. grab his waist
  2. slip your hand in his pocket
  3. steal his wallet
  4. dont even kiss him
  5. just run

dildotho:

one time when I was 13 I wrote wtf on a Facebook status and my dad had a talk with me about being appropriate on the Internet

centuria:

Hironori Yasuda—hand-rendered patterns. c. 1980s

breakinq:

following back tons

breakinq:

following back tons

evabadon:

"when women wear makeup they’re basically lying to us" well i don’t see why i’m being blamed for a man stupid enough to really think i have red and gold eyelids

breakinq:

following back tons

breakinq:

following back tons

905

burgerkid:

making eye contact with a hot stranger and knowing you will never see them again

image